Three weeks into the 2026 NFL season and one thing is abundantly clear: this league has absolutely zero interest in making anything easy for anyone. Twelve of Sunday's fourteen games were decided by one score. Five teams are still undefeated. Case Keenum, thirty-eight years old and a career backup, walked into Monday Night Football and embarrassed the Eagles 27 to 7. And Brock Purdy is sitting atop the NFL quarterback rankings.
Wait. WHAT?
That became the theme of the week. And honestly, we are not complaining.
Happy Birthday Dezi. The 49ers Stayed Unbeaten.
Let it be known that Dezi turned fifty this week and celebrated what she is calling her halftime show. Her girlfriend made her a sash that said forty-nine plus one so she could stay a 49er. The universe responded appropriately: the 49ers beat the Arizona Cardinals 36 to 30 and Dezi went to bed a happy woman.
Brock Purdy threw for 297 yards and four touchdowns and has still not been sacked through three games. George Kittle caught six passes for 82 yards and two touchdowns. On Bobblehead Day. Fred Warner put up seventeen tackles on defense.
The Arizona Cardinals were a little scrappier than anyone expected, the 49ers defense looked like a strainer with giant holes in it at times, but Purdy came through when it mattered. A win is a win. Three and oh is three and oh. The halftime show delivered.
Bills Win With Five Turnovers and Beth Almost Left at Halftime
Beth watched the Bills beat the Chargers 24 to 16 at Cosm in Atlanta, which she described as an IMAX theater for live sports, complete with leather seats, table service, and nice drinks. Her kids learned to play beer pong. Her daughter was apparently pretty good at it.
The Bills gave her absolutely zero peace in that first half. Five turnovers. Five. Beth almost made the whole group leave at halftime. She did not. The Bills won anyway. Josh Allen had two rushing touchdowns, giving him rushing touchdowns in three straight games. James Cook ran for 154 yards and a score. Dalton Kincaid, Keon Coleman, and the whole receiving corps showed up even without a clean game from the offense.
Beth's three-word assessment: devastatingly upsetting win. Three and oh though.
Lions Win, Laura's Nervous System Survives, Detroit Is 2-1
The Detroit Lions beat the New York Jets 31 to 24 and Laura's heart rate has mostly returned to normal. The Jets were not the pushover everyone expected. Laura called it 'a lot of heart attacks' but the Lions pulled through behind Jahmyr Gibbs, who put up 99 rushing yards, 65 receiving yards, and three touchdowns. Jared Goff threw for 269 yards with two touchdowns and zero interceptions.
The best stat of the night: the Lions have scored exactly thirty-one points in each of their three games so far this season. Detroit's area code is 313. Laura is choosing to read this as a sign.
Wait...WHAT?! The Moments That Had Everyone Screaming
This week's Wait...WHAT segment practically wrote itself.
The biggest storyline nobody saw coming was Case Keenum leading the Chicago Bears to a 27 to 7 blowout of the previously unbeaten Philadelphia Eagles on Monday Night Football. Keenum is thirty-eight years old and has played for the Texans, Rams, Vikings, Broncos, and Commanders. Dezi called him the current Ryan Fitzpatrick; everywhere, always reliable, never the star, occasionally the hero. This is shaping up to be the season of the backup quarterback and the week three results made the strongest possible case for that argument.
The Las Vegas Raiders are three and oh. Three. And oh. Kirk Cousins, Captain Dockers himself, threw three touchdowns and Brock Bowers put up 116 receiving yards. Fan Girl Football has been calling Bowers a cheat code all season and the receipts are right there.
The Washington Commanders beat the previously unbeaten Seattle Seahawks 33 to 31 without Jaden Daniels. The Falcons beat the Packers 35 to 14 in Lambeau Field of all places, with Penix, Bijan Robinson, and Drake London all having career days. Dezi texted Stacy, their Packers-fan friend, to say she was sorry. Dezi was not sorry.
The Ravens beat the Cowboys 34 to 31 in Rio de Janeiro at the Maracanã Stadium in what turned out to be the most dramatic game of the week. The Ravens classically could not close the door, the Cowboys did what the Cowboys tend to do in big moments, and with seven seconds on the clock the Ravens got the ball back and made it work. Baltimore wins. Brazil gets an all-timer. Everyone's blood pressure is a little higher than it was on Saturday morning.
Sports and Medicine: A Tough Week for the Injury Report
The 49ers are so injured they literally tried out fourteen players this week because they are running out of roster space. Nick Bosa is out four weeks with a calf injury. Dezi noted that Kyle Shanahan held a press conference and essentially said Mike Evans has ribs. Many of them. That was the entire disclosure. George Kittle went on an interview and mentioned that fractured ribs hurt a lot. One would assume Mike Evans has fractured ribs.
Dezi walked through what that rib hit actually looked like. Budda Baker caught him right where the ribs meet the lungs, in a spot where a fracture could mean a lung contusion, a punctured lung, or spleen involvement if it was the lower left side. She read his lips on the replay. He said he could not breathe. Beth's verdict: that was not just a strain. She wants him out at least two to three weeks. The 49ers will probably rush him back in two. She is hoping for three.
The Great Debate: Which Undefeated Team Do You Actually Trust?
Five teams are sitting at three and oh: Bills, 49ers, Chiefs, Raiders, and Vikings. The girlfriends made their cases.
Beth is buying the Bills. Josh Allen is playing elite football, the offense is spreading the ball, and even the defense is starting to catch up. Her reluctant second pick is the Chiefs because the second game showed Mahomes finding himself again. She did not enjoy saying that.
Dezi is buying the 49ers because something magical is happening and she is not going to question it. Her second pick is the Bills because they have gone up against the toughest opponents of any three-and-oh team so far.
Laura is buying the Bills as a true Super Bowl contender. She would not put the Vikings in the top tier because they are still the Vikings, which she said with warmth and also accuracy.
The unanimous Bills energy in the room was noted. We immediately regretted putting it out into the universe, especially after we all picked the Ravens in Brazil and they barely made it.
Thirsty for Football: Battle of the Bays Tiki Punch
This week's drink was the Battle of the Bays Tiki Punch, a tropical big-batch punch built for game day crowds and perfect for the Green Bay and Tampa Bay showdown. Tropical juice (mango and pineapple is the recommendation), orange juice, Malibu rum, and grenadine poured last so it sinks to the bottom and creates that gorgeous sunset look. Garnish with fresh mint and pineapple and serve over ice.
Mocktail swap: skip the Malibu and replace it with coconut water and a splash of coconut cream for that tropical richness. No grenadine on hand? Make your own by boiling equal parts water and sugar and steeping pomegranate tea bags to taste. Watch our social media for the full recipe.
Week Four Is Going to Be Chaotic
The game of the week is Chiefs versus Raiders, three and oh versus three and oh. The Lions play on Sunday Night Football against the Panthers. The Bills host the Patriots. The 49ers face the Broncos. Laura's prediction is that no team in that undefeated group goes undefeated much longer. She might be right. She might jinx all of them simultaneously.
We will see you Wednesday at 8pm ET. Subscribe wherever you listen.
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